Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
