Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
