My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
