He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
