I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I stole a fireplace last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
