sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
