She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
