Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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