I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
