I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
