I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
