It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i think i just lost a toe
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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