I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
