I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
