spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
