end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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