K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
