hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
