If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
