I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
