dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
barbara walters just said penis...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
