Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
