Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
