i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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