it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
