Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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