yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
