your thong is hanging out like whoa
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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