it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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