She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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