what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
