Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
