He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
