Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
