How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
