It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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