I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
