she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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