I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she told me i tasted like america
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
