I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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