On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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