i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he fucked my hip out of place.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
