How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
