I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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