You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
