your thong is hanging out like whoa
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
