these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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