she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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