I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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