Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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