I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
