Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
