they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
