i was born a porn star she said
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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