my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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