We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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